Philly Diaries - Travel to Philadelphia to find myself again. Who am I? What do I want? How a physical journey turns into a transformational journey!

The Philly Diaries – Day 17 – Easter Sunday in Philadelphia, PA

The Philly Diaries – Day 17 – Easter Sunday in Philadelphia, PA

Easter Sunday in Philadelphia! This journey is truly a transformational one…

When I first thought of returning to Philly after ten years (coincidentally, Wrestlemania is in Philly this year—thank you, universe!), I wasn’t expecting it to become such a transformational journey for me—a journey back to myself.

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Easter Sunday In Philadelphia

I haven´t had a huge plan for this Sunday. I heard about this parade on South Street. The sun was shining, and I wanted to be out there and enjoy every second! So I went out there! I hopped onto the BSL and went South to Lombard St, the stop leading me to South Street. Arrived there, I went on, wandered around, took pictures of the murals, and ended up at Magic Gardens, where I bought my ticket for later the day. For the moment, I needed to move ahead as the parade was about to start in a few minutes.

The Philly Diaries - traveling to Philadelphia to find myself again #travel #mindset #transformation #EasterSunday #thingstodo #easterparade The Philly Diaries - traveling to Philadelphia to find myself again #travel #mindset #transformation #EasterSunday #thingstodo #Easterparade

After that, I watched a best-costume contest; the little ones were adorable, and I took a selfie with Swoop, the Eagles’ mascot! I took a break at Milkboy, having one or two drinks, before heading back to Magic Gardens* for my self-guided tour there. When I finished the tour, I wondered what to do now. Going home? Finding something to eat? Or another drink! Somehow, I couldn´t decide because I didn´t want that day to end by going home; on the other side, I was a bit exhausted from all the impressions and thoughts that went around in my head. so I ended up at the Green Line Café for a Chai Latte for a last round.

The Philly Diaries - traveling to Philadelphia to find myself again. Meeting the best bird ever! #swoop #travel #mindset #transformation #EasterSunday #thingstodo The Philly Diaries - traveling to Philadelphia to find myself again! Having a break, a drink, a book! #reading #writing #travel #mindset #transformation #EasterSunday #thingstodo

Thoughts, The Future, And More

It’s more than just exploring if my heart is still here or if I want to spend parts of my future here, like owning a townhouse, spending two to three months a year, renting out the rest, etc. It’s definitely more than that.

As I said, I’m here on my own again for four entire weeks, with no distractions like too much sightseeing, squeezing in as much as possible because time is short before I leave for the next destination, etc.

I do have a lot of time to (re-) connect with myself, to find out again what I truly desire, how I want to live my life, and how I want to serve this world, my clients, you, my dear reader. 

Huh, it’s getting quite emotional while writing this… tears come up, and it’s hard not to start crying as I’m sitting here at Milkboy on South Street while writing the first draft of this piece of writing. 

The whole journey is, in fact, a journey to myself, and being elsewhere than home in Düsseldorf, Germany, gives me a chance to SEE.

At home, it’s more like living my daily life without too much of a purpose that means something to me. Yes, it does have a purpose when I care for my business or do something to get closer to my dream life. But being home also means I have to work, whether working from home or in the office. I have to be there, spending my energy there. This is who I am. When I’m doing something, I do it wholeheartedly. It’s not even my dream job anymore. Or at least something I care about.



Reflections On The Past And My Journey

Although it was different in the past, it was great when I started working there. It was a good job, one after the bankruptcy of the former company I’d worked for. So, it was a welcome opportunity to continue working rather than sooner or later becoming unemployed. Selling myself to employers was never a strength of mine.

So, my biggest fear at that time, and somehow it’s still a matter, was not getting a new job again because of my inability to sell myself and what value I could be. Self-worth is still a thing, even after all these years… But that’s a different story.

Well, it was great to get that job. The team was and still is great, and my boss is great. He let me do quite some things during the past, let me count, 13 years… so I’m pretty happy and grateful for him being my boss. Someone else probably wouldn’t be so generous besides all those rules regarding working elsewhere or someone who actually values being there and what I’ve done for the company’s health all those years.

MORE ADVENTURES FROM DREAM AND WANDERLAND  Florida - Orlando & Wrestlemania 33

Humbling or not, they would be quite lost without me… 😉

However, when I started traveling alone, I wanted it to be how I imagined, without compromising anything.

And with the first solo Wrestlemania, one more dream came true! The first solo trip. The way I imagined in my head with enough room for spontaneous decisions, going to Louisiana first instead of going straight to Florida after I had left New Orleans and so on.

When I came back home, the first way back to the office, following my new “tradition “ of having a Starbucks coffee in the morning, as I did while in New Orleans in the mornings while strolling the French Quarter in the early mornings when everything was still quite and peaceful after vibrant, loud, and packed nights on Bourbon Street. 

While having this coffee in my hand, walking alongside Königsallee in Düsseldorf, making my way to the office… the only thought that I had on my mind this moment, after experiencing the big wide world out there, was: “Damn, how small this town is?” And I knew that I was meant for more than this! I had outgrown the town I´d lived in for a long time.

A Revelation

It was a great season and chapter of my life!

I was happy there! Düsseldorf was the first city I felt immediately at home when I arrived, leaving the Autobahn and moving to my new shared apartment where I was supposed to live in the first months of the Düsseldorf chapter. This was seven years before my first solo trip. It was right where I was supposed to be and what I was meant to experience. 

However, nowadays, I do my current job for three reasons:

  1. It pays my dues. It pays me well. I mostly live what I’m doing. I love figures, solving riddles, solving issues. Improve Processes.
  2. I’m emotionally attached. I feel a certain responsibility not to let them down when I leave. Or lose efficiency, maybe even money, when I leave and cannot rescue their world anymore. Not to mention my co-workers. Leaving them—whoa, even the thought hurts my heart. I told you, I’m emotionally attached…
  3. I’m too scared. Still. Of not being able to make a living with something else. Yes, I admit! my fear of not being paid anymore, not being able to pay my rent, becoming homeless! Although, that is such a bullshit! Living in Germany means you are socially secure and not becoming homeless! Maybe moving to something smaller! But That would mean leaving my current standard. Which seems to correlate with the fear of being homeless. Not being able to keep up with my current standard.

So, after sharing all those thoughts and fears with you, let’s go back to the story.

I came home from my first solo trip. Everything felt so small. I didn’t feel Like Düsseldorf was my home anymore. This feeling became past. And I knew that I was meant for more. That was back in 2014. Over time, I felt more and more unhappy in that life. It literally became like living the life of someone else but me.

It took me another seven years to realize and admit to myself that I wanted something else—something more! And I was ready to do something about it.

Back To The Present And Philly Now

Anyway, I’ll tell you what happened next time. For now, I have a date with myself at Magic Gardens*, which is the first time I’ll actually be there.

The Philly Diaries - traveling to Philadelphia to find myself again! South Philly Mosaic #travel #mindset #transformation #EasterSunday #thingstodo The Philly Diaries - traveling to Philadelphia to find myself again! Magic Gardens #travel #mindset #transformation #EasterSunday #thingstodo

Then, I slowly returned home to my Philly apartment, stopping by The Green Line Café to grab a Chai Tea Latte before it closed for the day. I read a few more lines of the book I carry around all the time:Before Your Memory Fades*” by Toshikazu Kawaguchi, the third book in the “Before the Coffee Gets Cold*” series.

And then call it a day by throwing myself on the couch and going ahead with my #TarotSunday thing on my Instagram channel! Are you up for a Tarot message?

And yes, this isn´t a regular travel blog anymore! It´s about transformation and personal development! But traveling is still a part of me and somehow the best way to connect with myself! So, this is how this Easter Sunday in Philadelphia ends! See you soon!

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